not blogging here
moving blog to a personal space.
this address has ceased its purpose. probably not a lot of people come in a read.
it has been almost 3 years of ranting, crying, nonscence.
thanks for the support/non-support.
i need a life offline. if you truely care, you have my number, msn, and i work around MS.
there's more than a blog to contact me. if you BOTHER that is.
ciao
shalom,
Jean
I need to be alone.
Feelings so drain out,
this mudane process is becoming part of my life.
I just feel like walking out, and walk away.
I'm just a human. i really feel like bursting into tears at my desk now.
When will this group of people actually understand what the real problem is? I always have to get those sterotyped kind of christian respond. ARGGGG.
I want to scream, kick, brawl.
Just leave me alone, and don't try so hard. You dont need to.
The deep pain of disappointment, betrayal from the empty promise.
I dont think you get it. Period.
why?
still stuck at a place where i cant seem to make know my feelings to people.
like when i'm not happy. when i feel neglected. when i need some attention. when i need something.
ego lah, but i'm only human.
and here i am, back at the crossroad. still uhhappy with people, unhappy with the broken promises or words. and so people just come n go like dat.
and i'm only the so called need in their timeframe at that point of time.
so if im ego, then others also ego what. their needs is always first too, conscience or unconsciencely.
caffine makes me thinking all these crap in this forsaken huors of the day.
how God, i need you more. i cant be a hermit. but im anti-social now, and as if people around really care. avoid me all you want lah.
jaded is the word.
and thankfully, there are still people around who still cares. my point here being that those who said who will but never did, or just too busy with others that i think im pretty much insignificant. period.
gawh
Shawn Mcdonald is so cute. SOooooo Cute.
Now, where in singapore can I find another cute and talented guy and sprititual (i think) like him?
ARRGGGGG.
okay, just a lame moment. Hah
I need You Jesus!
www.myspace.com/shawnmcdonaldwww.myspace.com/paulwrightSHAWN McDONALD
Take My Hand
Written by Shawn McDonald and Paul Wright
Take my hand to the promise land
And on You I want to stand
‘Cause I cannot do it on my own
You're what I need and I need to be
Right by Your side ‘cause I cannot hide
Lord, I know that I need You
Na na na na na na na na na, I need You
Na na na na na na na na na, I need You
Without You I'm so alone
I am weak but You are strong
You pick me up when I'm falling down
And I am crying
Out to You inside of my heart
the verse that reminds me...
1 Samuel 25
26 "Now since the LORD has kept you, my master, from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, as surely as the LORD lives and as you live, may your enemies and all who intend to harm my master be like Nabal. 27 And let this gift, which your servant has brought to my master, be given to the men who follow you. 28 Please forgive your servant's offense, for the LORD will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my master, because he fights the LORD's battles. Let no wrongdoing be found in you as long as you live. 29 Even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life of my master will be bound securely in the bundle of the living by the LORD your God. But the lives of your enemies he will hurl away as from the pocket of a sling. 30 When the LORD has done for my master every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed him leader over Israel, 31 my master will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself. And when the LORD has brought my master success, remember your servant."
- Abigail to David, when she stopped David from destroying Nabal.
===========================
Something I need to learn about injustice, averaging and what not...
HAIZ.
in a corner...
Waiting for 15mins to pass before I can take off my pimple mask (that smells like medicated oil..).
Week after weeks slips away like such as day as this. I woke up at 3pm, and now almost the day is gone. Wish that life now wasnt that aimless...
sigh. And soon it will be my birthday, followed by christmas...
There's politics in office. Makes me wonder how some people are so freaking free to be running around in politics. Trying to stay out of it, but looks like half my feet is stuck inside.
On another note, would want to go holiday somewhere. Get my mind off things...
===============
tues, 5pm in my room
this song resonates with my heart...
i still havent found what im looking for.
just a thought that came flying by...
on mc today. not feeling too good. hopefully by end of this week the PMS will be gone far far away...
2 year later..
and the same pit.
why give my heart away when in the end, nothing is left?
guys are just bastards who take and go.
Yes, I'm very jaded now.
I wish I could be on a plane to somewhere else.
End of 2004 I was heart broke, mid 2005 I thought all is not lost. Early 2006 was only when I found out all are but lies and total waste of time.
I waited. And this is all I got.
I'm not pretty by benchmark. I'm not that intelligent with degree and all.
I'm just me. If you don't like it, please don't abuse me by taking my heart away and tear it up.
I wish for justice, but then who can understand my heart now?
Maybe in olden kampungs, I'll have a whole herd of people stoning/bashing him up.
Here, all i get is people telling me to stop what im doing.
I really wish I could get away from the facade for a while...
